


Between Fears, Friends and Firsts

by waitingforwonhui



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Produce X 101 - Fandom, UP10TION, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Canon, Character Development, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, It's fluffy too, Kissing, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Ratings Have Changed, Slice of Life, Tension, Top!Wooseok, bottom!jinhyuk, cockblocker award of the year goes to up10tion, it ends just before the finale, slightly angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-06-29 06:59:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19824919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitingforwonhui/pseuds/waitingforwonhui
Summary: Basically, little, chronological moments of Jinhyuk and Wooseok's developing relationship.From both sides.From UP10TION to just before the finale of Produce X 101.(I was in pain writing this.)





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> WeiShin again.
> 
> maybe my last for a while.

Wooseok is sprawled on his back on the couch in their dorm's living room. The weight of a day of schedules weighing down every bone in his body.

When he got back just 10 minutes ago, he wanted nothing more than to wash up and go to bed. With both bathrooms occupied, he finds the couch a welcome alternative. Wooseok closes his eyes. _Just 5 minutes_ , he says to himself.

"You're back," the loud voice pierces through his head. He looks up to acknowledge the Jinhyuk shaped shadow between him and the lamp on the ceiling.

"And you're loud," is all he can answer before the tall body lands on top of him, lanky arms circling around his waist. Jinhyuk's head on his stomach. He wants to push him away but he doesn't find the strength. 

"He's been touch-starved all day," Hwanhee throws in dryly. Wooseok only now realises that the maknae has been sitting on the chair across the couch eating a cup of ramen. "Nobody would return his skinship."

"Well, he's lucky I'm too tired to punch him in the face," Wooseok retorts.

Jinhyuk props up his head. His chin uncomfortably poking into Wooseok's stomach. Big-eyed, pouting. "You wouldn't."

"What are you even tired from?" Hwanhee's voice chimes in. "All you have to do is hang out with Jeon Somi. How is that hard work?"

Jinhyuk giggles. Head still propped up on Wooseok's stomach. "Your jealousy is showing, Hwanhee."

"Whatever, they don't even look good together," the maknae concludes a little salty.

"It's not about looking good with Jeon Somi, it's about _looking good_ ," Wooseok jokes. A mischevious smile on his face that makes Hwanhee frown.

"So, I could get the job too?" Jinhyuk's childishly big eyes are looking up to him in expectation. Wooseok wants to continue the banter but he doesn't say anything.

Maybe it's the huge grin on Jinhyuk's face that he can't make himself wipe away with a playful insult or maybe he's just too tired to play around.

Wooseok is nice. He likes to draw. He's good at everything he does. It's easy to be around him.

That's about as much as Jinhyuk can say about him for sure. Wooseok has always been a mystery to him. One he doesn't really entertain enough to resolve.

As he heats up the food his mother sent him from home, Jinhyuk watches Wooseok flipping through the manga he left on the kitchen counter. 

"Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to be you," Jinhyuk hears himself say those words out loud. He thinks it's a weird thing to tell someone. Then again, he is weird and Wooseok knows.

He looks up at him from the manga. Looking confused at first then giving him a small smile. "I guess it's not much different from being you."

Jinhyuk has always been expressive, especially with his face. He knows Wooseok can read the perplex that statement created in his mind.

"You know, same job, same industry, same group, same age, same idiot friends. Basically, the same life, just a little," he stops then puts a hand to cover his mouth as a giggle escapes. " _Lower._ "

"Lower?" Jinhyuk inquires.

Wooseok smiles. He points his finger up and down Jinhyuk's body. "I imagine the air up there is different from down here."

"Because I'm tall," Jinhyuk concludes intelligently. Suddenly understanding the joke, he starts laughing.

As he turns around to check if his food is heated up properly, he feels grateful to have someone like Wooseok on his team. Wooseok is an asset.

_He's also wrong_ , Jinhyuk thinks. _We're very different._

Fansign events are Wooseok's least favourite part of being an idol. 

He loves the fans. He loves meeting them. He loves giving back. There's just something about it that makes him feel fake. Even more fake than usual. Given that faking is part of his job.

He is about to take a sip from his drink when he suddenly feels a finger on his lips. Jinhyuk is smiling brightly next to him. The sudden increase of cameras directed at the two of them makes him act on autopilot.

He shoves Jinhyuk away by instinct. Then threatens him with a fist by instinct.

He doesn't really know what he'd _actually_ do with Jinhyuk's finger on his mouth. He doesn't even know how it actually makes him feel. All he knows is that they love to see him be a little mean to the other members.

They love to see him compete with Jinhyuk. No, they love to see him compete with _Wei_.

They love when he babies the maknaes, so he makes sure to cutely ruffle Xiao's hair when the younger turns to look at him.

Kogyeol calls him from the other side of the table, so he walks over there because they love to see them together.

As he stands up from where he is seated, he accidentally bumps into Jinhyuk who looks up at him, the same bright smile still plastered across his face.

By instinct, he hits his arm.

It's been more than a year since they'd all seen Wooseok the last time.

Jinhyuk doesn't really understand what happened. He understands that one unnecessary thing led to another but he doesn't understand how it all got so bad so quickly.

As the group waits for Wooseok's arrival, Jinhyuk remembers one of the last times he saw Wooseok. The first time he noticed something was off.

The group was watching a film in the living room. Jinhyuk was sitting on the couch, Wooseok on the floor in front of him. He was playing on his phone. Distracted, as he often seemed the days before he left.

Jinhyuk remembers thinking that Wooseok was like quicksand. He seemed fine. Normal. He smiled and laughed when it was appropriate but there was an aura around him. It was impossible to ignore. It sucked you in if you spent enough time with him and Jinhyuk couldn't even put a finger on what was wrong.

The entire year he wondered if he could've done something to help. Could he have behaved any different? Was he a big enough part of the equation? Probably not. You still wonder when someone you see every day is suddenly sucked into a darkness you can't even begin to understand. 

When he left, Jinhyuk realised how much he had gotten used to seeing Wooseok's face every day. A face that is hard getting used to.

Jinhyuk takes a mental note to not take anything for granted.

The front door opens and Andy, their company's CEO, walks in, closely followed by Wooseok. _He looks smaller,_ Jinhyuk thinks. Smaller, but better than the last time he'd seen him.

Wooseok seems different. Calm. Jinhyuk doesn't know what he expected but he's relieved when Wooseok smiles before greeting them. It feels genuine.

"I want to join the next season of Produce 101," Wooseok states shyly after gathering all the members in the living room.

This doesn't come as a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing for him. Wooseok has been thinking about it since the moment he heard that the show is starting filming again and that they were looking for trainees to join. He thinks he should tell the members first. He doesn't want them to find out after he applies. He owes them that much. Actually, he owes them much more.

They look at him with mixed expressions. "Join... you mean as a trainee?" Sooil asks in confusion.

"Well, yes," Wooseok answers with a smile. "What else would I do there?"

"Right," Sooil retorts. 

"Why?" Jinhyuk asks from the back. Wooseok looks at him and notices that, unlike most of the others, he doesn't look shocked. He looks intrigued if anything.

"I feel like I have a lot to make up to you guys," he looks at the floor as he speaks.

"You didn't do anything," Minsoo protests. "We know it. Everyone knows it."

Wooseok gives him a genuine smile. "I know but I still feel like the group suffered because of me. Our reputation suffered. My reputation suffered. I feel I need to go there and show that I'm not afraid to start over," he concludes.

Jinwook looks at him with a worried expression. "Of course, we support your decision if this is something you want to do but if it's just about the group, know that you really don't have to do this. You don't owe us anything, okay?"

Wooseok knows he means it. He knows they don't blame him for anything but he can't help but blame himself. They've reached a plateau. Quite a while ago and his hiatus didn't help the cause either. He is the center of the group. If he had done better, they would be more successful now. If he hadn't left them for so long, maybe things would look different now. If he can fix things by going on this show, he's willing to try and start over.

"I feel I have to do this, hyung."

He's grateful that they are understanding. That they are willing to let him do this without much protest.

"I'll come with you," Jinhyuk's sudden exclaim draws even more shocked reactions than Wooseok's original announcement.

Wooseok isn't sure he understands. "Where?"

"To Produce, obviously," Jinhyuk looks determined. His eyebrows furrowed in the way they only get when he has something serious to say. Or when he's irritated. "We can't let him go alone. I want to do it."

Without realising that he was tense, Wooseok feels a sudden relief. He didn't want to ask anyone to come with him but to say that he is scared to face this challenge alone, would be a major understatement.

He is surprised that it's Jinhyuk, though. Then again, apart from a couple of more serious, philosophical talks about life, death and the world, he never really had a genuine conversation with Jinhyuk about their own lives, dreams, fears or anything like that.

As far as he knows, Jinhyuk is a cheerful, hardworking, genuine guy and he thinks he could do much worse than having him around on this journey.

Their goal is an A. They can agree on _that_.

Jinhyuk thinks that the worst that could happen is for him to mess up the rap part in front of everyone. In front of the representative, the trainees, the trainers, the cameras.

They have already debuted, so they know that them messing up would be like a gift to the drama hogging editors of Produce X 101 - they found out that's the title of the new season. Jinhyuk has no clue what the X stands for but he's sure he'll find out soon enough.

So, they decide to meet up for a couple of hours every day to train for their performance. If - for whatever reason - they don't get an A, they want to make sure it's not because of a lack of practice.

In all the years of knowing him, Jinhyuk realises that he's never spent this much time alone with Wooseok. He learns a lot about him. With every new information, he catches himself wondering if Wooseok has always been like this.

"You're different," he blurts out one evening when they end up eating dinner in the practice room together because it's way too late to go home and order food there.

Wooseok laughs behind his hand. Jinhyuk wonders if he's always done that or if this is a new habit. It's cute. Jinhyuk likes cute. 

"Good different?"

"I don't know."

Wooseok frowns and Jinhyuk only now realises what that sounded like. "I mean, I like it. I like _you_. I mean, the way you are right now," he stutters and only now realises what _that_ sounded like.

"That came out wrong," he adds.

"Did it now?" Wooseok teases with a smile.

"My point is - and I really hope you don't take this the wrong way - but I don't remember much of how you were before... you know... I just know you're different now and I'm glad we're getting to know each other a little better."

Wooseok looks at him with an empty expression while chewing on his food before he speaks. "Honestly, I don't remember me before all of it either and if I'm even more honest, I think it was there even before we met."

Jinhyuk swallows audibly shifting in his seat. Wooseok looks up at him with a soft smile then continues. "It's all good now, though. I guess, in a way you're the first person here to get to know me the way I really am."

It only takes a moment for Jinhyuk to acknowledge that Wooseok has already cut out a special place in his heart for himself. A place he's more than ready to accommodate for him.

"And I'm also glad we're getting to know each other a little better."

Jinhyuk beams as he grabs his chopsticks. He can feel Wooseok's gaze on him as he leans down to dig into his food.

It all feels like a new chapter for him. One that he's more than ready to start reading.

The roller coaster in Wooseok's head runs loops as he sticks the B next to his name.

_How did this happen?_

He tries to replay their performance in his head. They did everything just as practiced. No mistakes. He got it all right down to every facial expression he diligently prepared. 

Even that one dude who's been a trainee for less than 3 months got an A but not them. He feels so inadequate.

He wants to turn around and ask Jinhyuk what went wrong but when he does he's speechless.

Jinhyuk has that shit-eating grin spread across his face again. The one that makes you smile a little even when you don't want to and god knows Wooseok doesn't want to right now.

"B," he states dryly pressing his lips together while looking up at the grinning giant.

"Yes," Jinhyuk excitedly exclaims. "We're so close! We'll be in A in no time, _high five!_ "

Against his better judgement, Wooseok finds his hand returning the high five then being interlocked with Jinhyuk's who pulls him in for an unnecessarily tight hug.

_Maybe a B is not the end of the world,_ he thinks. _We'll get the A in no time._

The first ranking evaluation arrives so fast. 

The last couple of months passed in a blur, Jinhyuk thinks. Now he's sitting in one of those chairs he'd only ever seen on TV. The blue uniform making him comically aware of the fact that he is part of a big show production.

He thought he would be more nervous but he feels relaxed with Wooseok on his right and this kid Jinwoo, who sort of grew on him, on his left.

He knows his name would be called, perhaps somewhere in the thirties. He isn't exactly sure about the rank but he doesn't really care. He won't be in the top 10 for now. He might _never_ get there.

All he knows is that he's going to make it to the next round. That's enough for now. That's good.

Next to him, however, Wooseok shifts nervously. His pretty doe eyes roaming around the room, seemingly unable to find a spot to focus on.

Suddenly, Jinhyuk feels a smaller hand grabbing his own and interlocking their fingers. He's a little perplexed.

Usually, he's the one to initiate any sort of skinship with anyone. Especially, Wooseok. There he is, however, holding onto Jinhyuk and leaning into his side.

He squeezes the smaller hand a little as a sign of reassurance. He wants to tell Wooseok that everything will be okay because everything _is_ okay. There is no chance in hell that Wooseok won't make it. He's probably quite high up in the top 10 already.

Jinhyuk turns to him to make sure he's alright but finds himself confronted with a small smile. "When do you think your name will be called?"

"Uh," Jinhyuk starts eloquently. "Maybe 31?"

"31?" Wooseok turns away quickly then looks back at him again. "I think you're higher than that."

_He's doing it again_ , Jinhyuk thinks to himself. Lately, he's been noticing a shift in the way Wooseok talks to him.

He doesn't want to read too much into it but he can't help himself. He feels embarrassed that he sometimes catches himself analysing the small little remarks Wooseok throws at him every now and then. The younger has always been quite playful with his words but Jinhyuk still wonders whether something between them actually changed.

When the ranking comes down to where Jinhyuk expects to be called, he starts feeling slightly on edge. Just the fact that he will have to get up and stand on stage like a lost sheep while other names are called out.

The representative starts to announce the next rank. "The next trainee - with his perfect physique and looks, he drew everyone's attention from the start."

Jinhyuk knows it's not him. He has Yuri in mind. Maybe one of the cute Starship trainees. Maybe even one of the foreigners.

As he looks around he meets Wooseok's eyes. "But Jinhyuk also has perfect looks, doesn't he?"

Wooseok's words bring a smile to his face. A smile he feels he needs to hide by looking at the ground. He blames the ranking evaluation for his fluttering heart.

A couple of ranks later his name has still not been called. 

Wooseok has now both of his hands clasped around Jinhyuk's right. He's not sure if he's holding him or holding onto him.

When Jinhyuk's name gets called, he gets up to capture Wooseok in his arms.

He feels a need to hug him tight. Maybe for himself or maybe to tell him that he's sorry he can't hold his hand until his own rank is called.

Jinhyuk walks on stage and turns around. His eyes meet Wooseok's again and he lifts his eyebrows at him with a smirk. 

Wooseok hides a smile behind his pretty hand and Jinhyuk starts to analyse again.


	2. Part 2

He's dancing the changed part of the 'U Got It' choreography for what feels like the thousandth time.

He messed up. He messed up big time. He made more mistakes than he can even count. So, he can't stop practising now. He can't stop going over that one part he keeps messing up again and again.

The rest of the group left a while ago because Wooseok is the only inadequate one. Not their words but he knows it's true. They probably regret choosing him for center. _Rightfully so_ , he thinks.

About as subtle as an earthquake, the door of the practice room springs open. "There you are!"

Jinhyuk's loud voice fills the room that has previously only been occupied by Wooseok and endless repetitions of the demo tape for 'U Got It'. 

He doesn't turn around to look at Jinhyuk directly but instead settles for acknowledging his presence through his reflection in the mirror on the wall. "What do you want?"

"I was looking for you. I haven't seen you since..." Jinhyuk pauses then says the last word in a much lower voice. "Filming."

"Well, you found me now, so what do you want?"

He can see how Jinhyuk furrows his eyebrows. "I was worried..."

"Nothing to worry about, I'm fine. I just need more practice."

"Wooseok," Jinhyuk unknowingly pouts when he says his name. "It's almost 4 AM. I think you should go and rest."

Wooseok doesn't want to raise his voice but it betrays him. "And I think that I should fucking practice more because I'm the bloody center of this damn group and I suck right now."

He falls on his knees and hits the floor with both of his open hands. " _Fuck!_ "

"Okay, that's enough," he hears Jinhyuk say behind him. Then he feels himself being pulled up like a marionette. Back on his feet, Jinhyuk turns him around so that they are facing each other. His lanky arms come around Wooseok's waist but not to hug him. 

Jinhyuk is fumbling at Wooseok's back. 

"What are you doing?" the smaller male inquires. 

"Shh," is all he receives. Then more fumbling at the waist of his trainers.

Jinhyuk's left arm disappears underneath Wooseok's shirt while the right one removes the lapel microphone from his collar, the left one pulling it out from under the cloth.

Wooseok doesn't say a word. He is too aware of every bit of skin that Jinhyuk's hands come in contact with. He would wonder why that is exactly but even someone as in denial as himself can read the signals of his own body as it reacts to his friend's unsuspecting touch.

He can't let his mind go there, though. It's not allowed. Out of question. He can't cross a boundary he won't be able to return from. Not in his state. Besides, he's been sort of testing the waters for weeks and nothing ever came back from Jinhyuk's side. It's pointless.

Once he frees him from the tape and cable of the microphone, Jinhyuk makes sure to turn off the recording end of it then tosses it to the side. He grabs Wooseok by the wrist and pulls him towards the door. 

Just as Wooseok wants to protest that he doesn't want to go to sleep just yet, he realises that Jinhyuk is not actually walking to the door but to the light switch next to it. The second he reaches it he turns off the lights then grabs both of Wooseok's hands in the dark.

"Wh- what are you doing?" Wooseok speaks then gets angry at himself for stuttering. "I need to practice."

"No, you don't," Jinhyuk deadpans. Wooseok can feel himself being pulled into a hug, his arms on his side unable to reciprocate the gesture as he's being held. "A lack of _practice_ is not your problem, Wooseok. It's all in your head. You need to relax, okay? Breathe, let it out, cry if you have to but don't push me away. The mic is off, the cameras can't see you in the dark. The pressure is gone. But I'm here for you, please, let me be there for you, okay?"

Wooseok wants to say something, anything. Instead, he finds himself grabbing handfuls of Jinhyuk's shirt, lowering his head onto the taller's chest then tears. Somewhere around and in between being ranked first and center and already debuted and a trainee again the pressure rose to the point where Wooseok didn't even realise it was overflowing. 

Jinhyuk's hold around him tightens, one of his hands coming up to stroke Wooseok's hair. "It's okay," he whispers. "Everything's okay."

Around ten minutes later, Wooseok finds himself still embraced in Jinhyuk's arms but now they're on the floor, Jinhyuk leaning against the wall, Wooseok halfway on the floor, halfway on top of him. He has his own arms wrapped around Jinhyuk's middle coming down from his crying fit with a couple of small sobs and hiccups.

He thinks that he should feel embarrassed. He would feel embarrassed but he doesn't. Not with Jinhyuk's arms around him and his slow breathing calming Wooseok down as he listens to it. They never really talked about these things but he knows that Jinhyuk understands. Not in a way that he actually knows how it is from experience, but in a way that he has enough willingness to listen and connect the patterns. 

Wooseok thinks that he doesn't need any more reasons to feel a certain way about his friend. His group member. His survival program companion. But just as Jinhyuk has somehow managed to calm the storm within him, Wooseok feels a new whirlwind building up when the taller grabs his hand and places the most chaste kiss to the inside of his wrist.

Wooseok is suddenly endlessly grateful for the fact that it's completely dark in the room because he can feel his face heat up and he really doesn't want to present that look to an unsuspecting Jinhyuk. A Jinhyuk who has now let go of his wrist and is stroking his arm up and down. 

He doesn't know what to do but he definitely needs to distract himself - and Jinhyuk - from how loudly his heart is beating. He settles for a joke. "Hey, could it be that you're using my pitiful state right now to get your daily fix of skinship in?"

Jinhyuk laughs. _Good_ , Wooseok thinks. _That will do._

"No," Jinhyuk answers a smile clearly audible in his voice. "First of all, you're not pitiful, this is more than understandable. And second, I get more than enough skinship from the guys here. They're more open to it than our UP10TION members. I really can't complain."

Jinhyuk finishes with a giggle but Wooseok feels everything but giggly at that statement. "You mean... the 'Move' team?"

_What the fuck?_ He thinks. _Why are you asking him?_

"Sure, them. The younger trainees. The ones I'm closer to, I guess. Even representative Dongwook gives me a hug every now and then. You don't have to worry, my skinship needs are definitely being met."

Of course, everyone loves him. Wooseok is not at all surprised to hear that but he can't help a sour feeling from spreading in his stomach. 

"Especially, Byungchan," Jinhyuk chuckles and Wooseok can feel that he is shaking his head.

Before he can stop himself, he says the name in a tone more firm than intended. "Byungchan!"

"Oh," Jinhyuk seems a little taken aback at first but then he laughs. "I see. Don't worry, little one, you're still my favourite."

The whirlwind in Wooseok's stomach explodes into a swarm of butterflies. He doesn't necessarily love it when people point out to him that he's a little shorter than average but for some reason, he almost squeals at Jinhyuk calling him _little one._

He tries to collect himself before he speaks but he's not all that sure he sounds as cool as he wants. "Good. Just wanted to make sure."

Jinhyuk's loosens his hold on him a little before he inquires. "So, do you feel any better?"

"Yes, a lot, thank you. I might need two more minutes though," Wooseok says as he shifts a little to get even more comfortable around the taller body. "Or seven."

Jinhyuk chuckles as he pulls him even closer. "As many as it takes."

He lets out a small but shrill scream when he gets out of the bathroom and finds Wooseok sitting on the edge of his bed. "Oh my god, you scared me."

"I'm sorry," Wooseok says with a laugh. "I hear I'm scary but I didn't think I could scare you."

"It's not you, but the fact that you're here," he only now notices that there's nobody else in the room. "Where are the others?"

"I don't know," Wooseok adjusts his glasses. "I knocked but nobody opened, so I thought I'll just quickly get in and drop off something I got for you, but then I heard you showering, so I thought I might as well wait quickly."

"How did you know it was me in the shower?"

Wooseok grins then points to the Shiba pouch next to him on the bed. "I thought it was very unlikely you'd go out without this."

Jinhyuk laughs. He feels a sense of satisfaction knowing he's not the only one picking up on habits. He sits down next to Wooseok. "So, you said you got something for me?"

Wooseok smiles and lifts a big plastic bag full of what appears to be food. "An assortment of your favourite ramen!"

Jinhyuk is confused but happy. He only now realises that he's still hungry because dinner portions at the Produce camp are nowhere near what he usually consumes. "Woah, thank you! But I don't understand..."

Wooseok shrugs. "A little thank you for being there for me last night." 

"You know it's not necessary, I told you I want to be there for you if I can. We have history, Wooseok, it's the least I can do."

He doesn't fail to notice the small smile on Wooseok's face before he looks down on the floor and adjusts his glasses again. "I know, but I can't just take it for granted."

They exchange a quick look. A look of understanding and what Jinhyuk wants to believe is affection.

"Alright," Jinhyuk gets up from the bed. "Are you hungry? Let's have some of these."

"Sure, I didn't have dinner yet."

"Awesome, you choose one for yourself and I'll get the hot water."

A couple of minutes later they still sit on Jinhyuk's bed but both of them holding cups of ramen noodles and eating.

"How did you even know what my favourite brands of ramen are?" Jinhyuk can't remember having had ramen with Wooseok before. He can't remember talking to him about it either. 

"I didn't," Wooseok admits with a shy giggle. "I used my phone privileges to call Gyujin and ask him what you usually buy."

Jinhyuk is flattered that Wooseok actually made a real effort to thank him for something that was a matter of course for him. "Really, Wooseok, it was nothing," he felt a need to reassure him again.

"Hm?" Wooseok looks up from his ramen, his round glasses slipping down his nose a little and noodles hanging out of his mouth and Jinhyuk thinks he's so cute he could pinch his cheeks. He doesn't.

"Just being there for you, it's really not that big a deal. You don't have to buy me food every time I comfort you."

He wants to tell him that he's more than ready to be there for him whenever. That he felt like his heart would burst last night just from Wooseok even allowing him to hold him. He wants to thank him for not commenting on the fact that he had to kiss his pretty wrist when his brain had stopped to function for a second because everything was on overload. He wants to thank him for making ranking evaluations on this silly show something he now looks forward to because he knows that he'd get to hold Wooseok's hand and nobody would think anything of it. He doesn't say any of those things, of course. Instead, he chooses to be weird again. "You know, I imagine your mind being a little like a rock rolling down a hill."

Wooseok swallows a mouthful of ramen. "What?"

"You know, when you get like that, you have that one thought that something is bad or scary or in any way negative and it's like a rock you push down a hill, you know? It's bound to hit something, your thoughts are bound to find ground, to find something that supports them and then often the rock will take a lot of little rocks with it and it will all come crashing down," Jinhyuk finishes. He's not sure he made sense because Wooseok is looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

Then a smile. "I'm impressed," Wooseok says while flattening his sideburns. "You understand me better than I thought."

Jinhyuk ignores how his heart skips a beat. "May I suggest that from now on you come to me with that first little rock and not only after you pulled half the mountain down with you?"

Wooseok chuckles but nods. He's about to say something else when the door opens and Hangyul's face appears. "Oh, is this a TOP Media secret strategy meeting?"

Jinhyuk laughs. "No, we're just eating ramen."

"Ramen?" Hangyul is pushed inside the room from behind and Dohyun appears to be the force behind it. "Can I join?"

"Sure," Jinhyuk retorts with a smile. "Wooseok here bought enough to feed half of the remaining trainees."

After both Hangyul and Dohyun got their ramen ready to eat - and Jinhyuk got another cup for himself - they sit down on the bed in front of Jinhyuk's so they're facing him and Wooseok who has finished eating and is now playing with the small Olaf plushie Jinhyuk likes to hug when he sleeps.

"So, how's training going, hyung?" Hangyul asks Wooseok with something like caution in his voice.

Wooseok smiles looking at the Olaf plushie. "Good," he turns to look at Jinhyuk. "Haven't made a single mistake all day."

"Great," Hangyul concludes. "Or not, since your team is our biggest competition!"

"What about my team?" Dohyun throws in between two large mouthfuls of ramen. The other three look at him with mixed expressions before he lets out a shrill laugh. "You should see your faces! Oh my god, it's okay, hyungs, we know we don't stand a chance but we will have fun. That's what's most important."

"You're right," Wooseok says with a warm smile. "Besides, everyone knows you're the best rapper on the show, you have nothing to prove."

He squeezes Jinhyuk's knee when he finishes the sentence as to reassure him that he acknowledges him as a rapper too. Not that Jinhyuk cares but he appreciates the gesture.

"Thanks, hyung," Dohyun states as he puts down his now empty cup. "And if I can have another cup of these delicious ramen, I will forgive you for kicking me out of your team!"

Both Jinhyuk and Wooseok break out in laughter while Hangyul hits Dohyun's arm. "You brat!"

"You can have as much as you want," Wooseok replies with a hand in front of his mouth habitually hiding his smiles. "Just make sure you don't eat too much, we film tomorrow again and you don't want to be all puffy when you wake up."

"How come you didn't say that to Jinhyuk-hyung," Dohyun retorts. "He's on his third cup!"

"Ah," Wooseok puts a hand on Jinhyuk's shoulder. "The laws of nature do not apply to this guy. Jinhyuk can do whatever and eat whatever and he still wakes up looking perfect as always, it's really unfair."

"Look who's speaking," Jinhyuk reproaches. He hopes the hot soup from the ramen passes as a good excuse for his face blushing like crazy. 

"I've been wondering," Dohyun starts with a serious expression. "How long have you two been together?"

"Wow, you're firm," Hangyul throws in. "He means how long you guys have known each other."

Dohyun shakes his head. "No, I know they've been in the same group for years. I mean, when they got together. As a couple!"

Jinhyuk chokes on his ramen and Wooseok brings his hand up to hide his chuckle. "We're not a couple," Jinhyuk finally answers after he comes down from the coughing fit Doyhun's statement put him in.

" _What?_ Oh my god!" Dohyun lets out a dolphin-like scream then falls backwards on the bed. "Are you sure? You're messing with me, right?"

Wooseok takes off his glasses to wipe away the tears that the laughter brought to the corners of his eyes. "No, Dohyun, we're really not. I'm sorry to disappoint you."

"Alright," Hangyul takes Dohyun by the hand. "We've had enough fun and ramen for tonight, go back to your room, kid!" He pulls a protesting Dohyun to the door and lets him out but not before the youngest can throw in a _Good night, and sorry for thinking you're a gay couple!_

Hangyul comes back to sit on his own bed and clean up the empty cups. "I'm sorry about him, he's special."

"Don't worry about it, it's not an insult to be called gay," Wooseok says with a side-eye at Jinhyuk as he slowly stands up from the bed. "It was an honest misunderstanding."

Jinhyuk can't help but follow Wooseok's every move. He has to make an effort to tear his eyes away and look at Hangyul before he speaks. "Besides, he's just so cute you can't really get mad at him."

"Oh, I can," Hangyul underlines. "You guys just don't know him long enough."

Wooseok who is now standing in front of Jinhyuk chuckles again. "I'll be on my way too, it's late," he squeezes Jinhyuk's shoulder before he walks to the door. "See you guys tomorrow, good night."

Later when he lies in bed, Jinhyuk thinks about what Dohyun said. The kid thought him and Wooseok were a couple. Apparently, it was so obvious to him that he was shocked to find out that they weren't. Jinhyuk can't help but wonder if he has given any ground for those assumptions, even more, he wonders the same about Wooseok.

Of course, he has wondered what it would be like to be with Wooseok. Especially lately, since they've been spending more time together. However, he doesn't think he's special in that. He can well imagine that anyone who has ever met Wooseok has wondered what it would be like to be with him. It's _Wooseok_ after all.

"So," Hangyul says in a low tone from the bed across from his. "You guys are really not a thing?"

As if Jinhyuk wasn't overthinking things already. "Really not."

Hangyul chuckles. "That's unfortunate. To be honest, I've been using the two of you as an example whenever I would get into discussions about LGBTQ rights," he looks at Jinhyuk who's now looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. "It happens much more often than you think."

"I hope you don't use us as an example by name," Jinhuyk almost panics at the thought of Hangyul going around telling everyone that those two UP10TION guys are in a relationship with each other. He can see his career crumbling before his eyes.

"No, of course not," Hangyul retorts almost a little irritated. "I just go, you know, these two guys I know are making it work blabla despite everything bla it's the most natural thing in the world blabla... no names, don't worry."

Something about the way Hangyul calls it _the most natural thing in the world_ makes Jinhyuk smile. "I mean, feel free to continue using us as an example if it helps you to bring your point across in discourse."

The way Hangyul looks at him, Jinhyuk thinks that he knows. After all, why would he want to be used as an example for a functioning, natural, gay relationship if he was not in one? Hangyul gives him a small smile. "Okay, hyung," he pauses weighing his words. "Good luck, I guess."

"Thanks," Jinhyuk's answer is almost a whisper.

As he washes his hands after using the bathroom, Wooseok thinks to himself that there should be no reason for his heart to be racing as much as it does right now. 

The filming for the concept evaluation stage is over. Their team has won. He got second in his team and fourth overall by the votes. They don't hate him even after he was broadcasted making all those mistakes. All is well. 

Just as he turns to leave the public restroom of the venue, the door swings open and Jinhyuk is standing right in front of him. Literally, right in front of him. The door closes behind the taller male and Wooseok is suddenly aware that he's directly confronted with the reason for his racing heart.

As if it's not bad enough that he had to acknowledge the fact that he has developed feelings - yes, actual feelings for his (male) friend - the stylists of this godforsaken show decided to put Jinhyuk in the most provocative make-up and costume. If he didn't know better, he'd think that someone somewhere found out about his hidden crush and decided to play a prank on him. It works, that's for sure.

He can't move. All he can think about is the fact that Jinhyuk is right in front of him, maybe 10cm, maybe less. He's changed his outfit to not even slightly less provocative black jeans and a simple grey t-shirt but the make-up is still there. Wooseok's heart is still racing and now he's pretty sure it's visible through his own shirt.

"Are you... done?" Jinhyuk asks and Wooseok is not sure if it's his ears playing a trick on him or if Jinhyuk's voice seems a little shaky. "Our car-"

Wooseok looks up to him and they make eye-contact. They are so painfully close that when Jinhyuk speaks again, Wooseok can feel his breath on his face. "Our car will be here soon."

He gets scared that Jinhyuk will turn around any second and leave, so he grabs his hand. The mere touch makes his heart almost implode. He intertwines their fingers, then squeezes. That's about as far as he can go without crossing any boundaries. He can return from here. He can pass this off as a friendly need for proximity. He can explain this. 

What he can't explain is the way his eyes shift from Jinhyuk's eyes to his mouth and up again. The way his breathing gets completely erratic and his lips part in a way that can only mean an invitation.

But he won't go there. No matter how much it hurts not to be able to get any closer, he waits. He waits for Jinhyuk because he cannot make any more mistakes.

To his surprise, Jinhyuk's free hand moves up to cup the left side of his face. His forehead comes down to press against his own. He can only now tell that Jinhyuk's breathing isn't any better than his. He can feel it hot on his face.

Jinhyuk closes his eyes. Swallows. Opens them again. Wooseok observes. 

Painfully slowly he leans in. Millimeters away from Wooseok's lips he speaks. "Tell me to stop anytime."

And there it is. The softest, most gentle kiss. Wooseok knows that nobody has ever kissed him like this. Like he's a porcelain doll that could break any second. 

Their lips move against each other. Once. Twice. A third time. Then Jinhyuk pulls away again, lips still hovering over Wooseok's mouth.

"I didn't tell you to stop," Wooseok whispers. It makes Jinhyuk laugh, a little louder than appropriate for the tension of the past 2 minutes but he seems relieved and Wooseok wonders if Jinhyuk has been feeling the same way about him for the past couple of weeks. He makes a mental note to ask, but not now because the only thing he wants now is Jinhyuk's lips back on his and Jinhyuk really delivers.

He lifts Wooseok by his hips, turns them around and presses him against the door. Wooseok instinctively swings his legs around Jinhyuk's waist and they kiss. This time more passionately, more urgently.

The way Jinhyuk holds him, Wooseok is slightly higher than him and he uses this opportunity to lead the kisses, to deepen them, to explore Jinhyuk's mouth like he wanted to do now for weeks. He sucks on the taller's plump lower lip and he thinks he might go crazy. This has to be the best making-out session of his life so far. Best first kiss. No competition. 

Suddenly, Jinhyuk's phone rings. "Fuck," he puts Wooseok down on the ground again. "Our car is here."

He picks up the phone and tells the driver that he's found Wooseok and they'd be there in a minute. Wooseok can't help but observe Jinhyuk's slightly swollen lips moving as he speaks. There's nothing in the world that matters more now than getting back to touching Jinhyuk again.

"We have to go," Jinhyuk says before he presses a chaste kiss to the inside of Wooseok's hand. A gesture that makes Wooseok think this was not just some random outburst of lust right now. Definitely, not for him and not for Jinhyuk either. 

"It's okay," he manages to answer. "We can pick up where we left off when we get home."

Jinhyuk beams. "Gladly." He presses one last small kiss to Wooseok's desperate lips before they leave.

Wooseok usually insists on sitting in the front but not today. Not now. He'd much rather sit in the back with Jinhyuk holding his hand.

He can't wait to get back to the dorms. It's the middle of the night, so the others must be already asleep, which will allow them to spend some time alone in the living room. He can already see himself on top of Jinhyuk. Kissing him, maybe more. He wonders how far he can go with him tonight.

When they open the front door, however, they hear a mixture of noises then a loud _SURPRISE!_ The lights turn on and there are all the members gathered in the living room. "Happy Birthday!"

"It's not my birthday," Wooseok returns letting go of Jinhyuk's hand that he was holding all the way from the venue until the now. 

"Not you, Jinhyuk!" Yein elaborates.

"It's not my birthday either," Jinhyuk throws in confused.

"We know," Jinwook states almost a little annoyed. "But we weren't here for your birthday and we haven't seen you guys in so long, we thought a small party is long overdue. Surprise!"

"Well, thanks," Jinhyuk says with a tired chuckle then leans in to whisper into Wooseok's ear. "I guess, we'll have to get back to the other thing some other day."

Wooseok gives him a suggestive smile. "I guess, we will and, uh, sorry...that I didn't get you a present for your second birthday."

"Oh, but you did," Jinhyuk answers with a smirk before he's pulled away to one side of the room and Wooseok is pulled to the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, turns out it will be a 3-part work because I write way too many details and the word count fucks me up.  
> sorry about that, hope y'all still enjoy it! =)


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it guys.
> 
> the end of it. I managed an hour before the finale!
> 
> also, my firts WeiShin porn... let me know your thoughts!
> 
> hope the end is not a disappointment, also fingers crossed for WeiShin in the final!! <3

Since there is no filming for Produce X 101 until the next ranking episode, Wooseok and Jinhyuk get to spend a couple of days at their group's dorm. Much to Wooseok's dismay, he learns that that means basically no chance for him and Jinhyuk to be alone. He realises that it's easier to hide from the hundreds of cameras on the show than his 8 other group members.

No matter where they try to go there is already someone. They can't go to the bathroom together because the others would ask questions. They don't share a room, so when they would visit each other, there would always be someone else in the room as well. The living room is an open space, so everyone passes through which means no privacy there either.

They go on a couple of dates outside of the dorm's confinement but even there they can't really do anything but talk or hug occasionally because they are in public - and it's one thing if one of the UP10TION members figures out they are now a little more than just friends, it's a whole different catastrophe if the media does.

So, they stick to subtle touches like a squeeze to the others leg or arm or holding hands under the table where nobody can see. They share a kiss here and there but they never find the time or place for more.

What's worse the more he gets to see Jinhyuk every day without being able to even touch him, let alone kiss him, the bigger his desire for the other grows. He finds himself having to explain why he randomly groans one evening when Jinhyuk throws his head back and laughs with his eyes all cute and squeezed shut and his lanky arms hanging on his sides. He just wants to throw himself into those arms and have the first-row view of that smile but he can't. He blames the groan on stomach cramps and they joke about how Wooseok must have finally gotten his period.

With all the members free and off schedules, Wooseok thinks today is the day. They all seem eager to get out. Some of them want to go to the cinema, others shopping, others just out of the house to grab some food and take selfies. Jinhyuk seems to be on the same page as him because he can hear him decline every single one of their invitations to come with. It looks promising, they might get their first day alone in the dorms.

They stay seated on the living room couch as they say goodbye to the members one by one. Just when they think they are alone and Wooseok looks at Jinhyuk with pure lust in his eyes, a door somewhere opens and Dongyeol comes out. Wooseok can't believe he forgot that he was still at home.

"Where is everyone?" Dongyeol asks as he looks around the almost empty apartment.

"They went out to have fun," Wooseok answers quickly. "They literally just left. I'm sure if you call one of them, they'll wait for you and you can go too."

Jinhyuk chuckles next to him probably finding amusement in how desperate Wooseok seems to be. 

Suddenly, Dongyeol comes and sits down between them on the couch. "Nah, I'll stay here with you guys. I missed you," he says with one of his adorable smiles and Wooseok thinks he always knew he'd regret babying the maknae as much as he did all these years. 

"Jinhyuk-hyung, let's watch _Frozen_!" It's over. Wooseok knows there is no chance for them to be together today because even taking a shower together would be less suspicious than Jinhyuk turning down watching _Frozen_.

"Sure," he hears the source of his inner turmoil say. "Can you go grab the DVD? It's in my room on my nightstand."

"Of course," Dongyeol says cheerfully and gets up. "Oh, while I'm at it, I'll make us some popcorn too!"

"Sounds great," Jinhyuk adds. "Thank you."

Jinhyuk gives him a pitiful look when Dongyeol gets up from the couch but Wooseok thinks he won't get away just like this. The moment the maknae disappears in the kitchen, Wooseok practically throws himself on top of Jinhyuk to straddle him while the other one is still seated.

The taller looks surprised but grabs onto Wooseok's waist and squeezes with both hands. Enough reassurement for Wooseok to cup his face and start kissing him senseless. It's almost painfully good as he feels the lust bubble up in his abdominal regions and he starts to grind onto Jinhyuk's lap.

"Wooseok," Jinhyuk pushes him away just enough to speak. "We can't... Dongyeol..."

"He's making popcorn," Wooseok retorts still trying to place kisses on every bit of Jinhyuk's face that he can reach. "And don't worry, if he appears, I'll just punch you in the face and say you tried to force me into skinship. He won't suspect anything."

Jinhyuk laughs wholeheartedly and Wooseok regrets joking because it prevents him from kissing him more. "You would punch your-," Jinyhuk stops. "What are we actually?"

"Really? You want to have the DTR talk right now?"

Jinhyuk chuckles. "There's no better time than now."

"Oh god, I hate you so much," Wooseok rolls his eyes and sits back still on top of Jinhyuk. "Well, I don't know about you but I guess, I would like to call you my boyfriend one day."

"One day?" Jinhyuk raises his eyebrows.

"You know," Wooseok elaborates. "When we don't feel like we have to keep it a secret."

"So, what are we until then? An affair?"

"Affair sounds a bit weird," Wooseok scratches the back of his head.

"I always wanted to have an affair," Jinhyuk suddenly blurts out with a wide smile. "It sounds so kinky."

Wooseok puts his hands on Jinhyuk's shoulders and leans in again. "I didn't know you were into kinky stuff," he says with a suggestive smirk.

"Well, you still don't know everything about me," Jinhyuk pulls him in making him press his hips even further into him.

"Is that so?" Wooseok leans in to place another languid kiss onto Jinhyuk's lips marvelling at how responsive he is. 

"Yeah," Jinhyuk says with a sensual undertone that drives Wooseok overboard. He starts grinding onto him even harder all the while his hands start to explore Jinhyuk's upper body and his mouth sucks on Jinhyuk's sinful lower lip. 

"Wait... Wooseok," Jinhyuk tries to stop him from devouring him whole. "We can't... I'm getting-"

"Hard?" Wooseok smirks. "I can tell."

Jinhyuk pushes him off of him just at the right time because Dongyeol's suddenly appears around the corner with two big bowls of popcorn in his hands and the Frozen DVD secured between his arm and the side of his body. He doesn't suspect anything. "Are you watching with us, hyung?" The question directed at Wooseok.

"I guess," Wooseok says with a side-eye at Jinhyuk. "Can't escape."

Dongyeol chuckles as he places the bowls onto the table and proceeds to turn on the film. Wooseok looks at Jinhyuk who is now worriedly shifting in his seat, a pillow placed on top of his crotch. It makes him wonder how big Jinhyuk is since he has such a hard time adjusting himself even though they're both wearing trainers and Wooseok himself doesn't have any issues hiding his hard-on. 

He wants to entertain that thought further but the film starts and Dongyeol sits down between them again. Inappropriate. 

Just as the first scene is about to start, he hears Jinhyuk exclaim. "No," he gets up and walks away. "Not in front of Elsa!"

Wooseok laughs as he hears the bathroom door get slammed shut. Dongyeol looks at him with a confused expression. "What's up with him?"

"I don't know," Wooseok lies. "Maybe diarrhea."

Jinhyuk is just grateful to have Wooseok next to him in the backseat of the car as he draws invisible circles on the other's open hand. They are on their way back to their group's dorm after the filming of the last elimination episode of Produce X 101. The show is down to 20 trainees now and they start filming again the next day when they will be moving back to the Produce camp for the last time. 

The last five months have passed in a blur, Jinhyuk thinks. He has grown on his own and grown into something new with Wooseok. He has worked and laughed and fought more than he can even put into words. Today, for the first time in what feels like forever, he has also cried.

"Are you okay?" Wooseok asks softly lifting the hand Jinhyuk just held to rub his face with a pretty, pale thumb. 

Jinhyuk nods. "Yes, I was just really not expecting him to get eliminated."

"I know."

"But that's part of the show, I guess. I just hope he doesn't take it to heart too much," Jinhyuk leans into the touch of Wooseok's hand on his face. "He's so young. So much potential. I'm sure he has a bright future in front of him."

"I'm sure he knows," Wooseok gives him a soft smile and Jinhyuk would love to lean in and kiss him but he can't. 

When they stand in front of the apartment, Wooseok lets out a loud sigh. 

"What is it?" Jinhyuk inquires worriedly.

"I just hate that I have to let go of you now," Wooseok lifts their intertwined hands. "I hope at least they don't have another party prepared or I swear."

Jinhyuk laughs then leans down to place a chaste kiss to Wooseok's temple. "Just one night, babe, and I promise I'll use my skinship issues as an excuse to hold you in the car on our way to Produce tomorrow."

Wooseok chuckles and lets go of his hand before Jinhyuk types in the code to unlock their front door. 

They are surprised to find all the lights turned off. There are no sounds. No noise. No members. Jinhyuk half-expects them to jump out from behind the sofa with another cake to celebrate that both Jinhyuk and Wooseok made it into the finale - because there's really no birthday in sight - but it's not possible because nobody knows just yet.

Jinhyuk turns on the lights and it really seems like nobody's home. "Hello?"

"I think there's no one here," Wooseok states looking confused. "Where are our phones?"

"Manager-hyung left them in the kitchen," they both walk to the kitchen to check their phones and see if the others said anything about their whereabouts. 

"Ah, of course," Wooseok lets out. "They're flying to the US tonight."

"Oh my god," Jinhyuk reacts. "I totally forgot."

"Me too."

They look at each other a little dazed. Finally, a night away from the cameras, away from the members - whom they love, but when you're fresh into a new sort of romance, you don't really want eight other boys running around standing in your way of discovering each other - away from all the distractions and responsibilities. Just the two of them.

Suddenly, Wooseok looks a little shy. "So," he starts. "Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?"

Jinhyuk thinks it's cute how the other flattens his hair in the back and looks at him like he just made some business proposition instead of asking him to spend the night together.

Jinhyuk gives him what he hopes to be a reassuring smile. "Sure, let me just wash up, okay?"

"Yeah, I have to wash up too. Just come whenever you're ready, okay?"

"Okay," he says shortly. Then when Wooseok turns around to go to one of the bathrooms, as if he just remembered something out of the blue, he adds. "Hey, Wooseok."

The shorter male turns around. "Hm?"

It takes Jinhyuk two of his large steps forward to be standing right in front of Wooseok. Without wasting any time, he cups his face and presses their lips together. Wooseok's hands come to rest on his hips as they share a slow and languid kiss. When they break apart, Jinhyuk presses their foreheads together. "Sorry, but I've been thinking of doing this since I woke up this morning," he confesses.

"Come on, let's wash up and you can do much more of that," Wooseok says with a chuckle as he pats his butt on his way to the other bathroom.

When Jinhyuk comes out of the shower and goes to Wooseok's room, the other is already there. He is lying in his bed wearing a white shirt and boxers looking at his phone. Jinhyuk thinks that it should be illegal to look this good fresh out of the shower. He looks like a freaking face care TV commercial model, only that he's real and not touched up and here waiting for him, Jinhyuk, to join him in his bed. It's a wild world, Jinhyuk thinks. He can't even process how lucky he is.

"Jinhyuk," Wooseok's voice shakes him out of his trance. "You're staring."

"Oh," he shakes his head a little and moves towards Wooseok who has put his phone away and is now looking him up and down. "Sorry."

"Come here," Wooseok opens his arms as a welcoming gesture and Jinhyuk is more than ready to cuddle.

They lie in each other's arms for a couple of minutes before Wooseok speaks. "So, do you always sleep in nothing but your boxers?"

Jinhyuk chuckles. "No, I usually wear more than this. I just thought if I'm gonna sleep next to the hottest person on Earth, I should take precautions."

Wooseok giggles behind his hand and Jinhyuk just can't. "Gosh, you're so cute."

"Am I cute or hot now? Which one is it?"

"Both," Jinhyuk retorts with played frustration. "That's exactly my problem."

"You have a problem with me?" Wooseok jokes.

"Yeah, it's that I can barely control myself around you. You have no clue how many times a day I just want to touch you or hug you or kiss you or just even hold your hand and yeah, I know that probably everyone feels like that around you. But the thing is that I'm technically allowed to do it, but I can't. It's a little cruel almost."

Wooseok laughs then turns to hover on top of Jinhyuk. "If it makes it any better, I feel the same way about you."

He strokes the wet hair out of Jinhyuk's face then leans in to place a kiss on his lips. With his hand on the side of Jinhyuk's neck, he brushes a thumb across his jawline all the while keeping eye-contact. Jinhyuk feels like he's on a roller coaster slowly moving up before the big drop comes.

Wooseok leans down to kiss him again but this time he doesn't pull away again. He kisses him with fervour and Jinhyuk thinks that this is the second time he has to compare Wooseok to quicksand. Only this time it's about the way he wants to give himself in completely to the smaller male on top of him. Like, he's melting and being sucked in and there's nothing he can do about it. Nothing he wants to do about it because he can't remember feeling this good doing anything ever.

Wooseok is now full-on lying on top of him, his legs folded on each side of Jinhyuk, his beautiful hands roaming around Jinhyuk's upper body and neck, his hips grinding down on Jinhyuk's own.

Wooseok breaks the kiss apart with a moan then proceeds to place open-mouthed kisses up Jinhyuk's jawline until he reaches the space behind his ear then moves down his neck. He licks Jinhyuk's protruding collar bone, kisses it then moves lower and Jinhyuk can't help but let out a loud groan when Wooseok's pretty lips reach one of his nipples and start sucking on it.

"Fuck," Jinhyuk suddenly exclaims. "Wooseok!"

"Are you okay?" Wooseok just slightly lifts his head to check up on him.

"Yes, more than okay," Jinhyuk reassures him while reaching to cup his face. "It's just... I've never done this before."

"It's okay," Wooseok reaches up to stroke his cheeks. "I've never been with a guy either. We'll take it slow."

"No, I've never been with _anyone_ ," Jinhyuk admits. It shouldn't come as brand new information to Wooseok, he thinks. After all, the group members have been making fun of him never having dated for years.

"Oh," Wooseok sits up on top of him with a probing expression. "We can... wait... if you want to... it's not a big deal-"

"No!" Jinhyuk cuts him off vehemently. "I've waited enough. This last week has been torture."

Wooseok laughs. Then comes down to place a passionate kiss on his lips. "Alright then, I'll be gentle."

He has the audacity to wink at Jinhyuk before he moves down to kiss his way from Jinhyuk's chest to the rim of his boxers. He is about take them off but looks up at the taller with lust-filled doe eyes as if asking him to reassure him that it's okay. Jinhyuk nods wondering if God really knew what he was doing when he made someone this cute and sinful at the same time.

Wooseok tosses JInhyuk's underwear to the side and proceeds to place kisses to the inside of his thighs. Jinhyuk's head is spinning, he doesn't know how he's going to come out of this alive. Where is he going to find the motivation to do anything in life other than being kissed and messed up by freaking Kim Wooseok? 

His head doesn't have the time to entertain that research any further because Wooseok's beautiful pink lips find their way to Jinhyuk's cock and the older lets out a lewd moan. He is so incredibly hard in Wooseok's mouth that it's almost embarrassing but the doe-eyed male doesn't seem to mind.

Jinhyuk dares to peak down on him and he regrets it immediately because he really can't take how beautiful Wooseok looks with his mouth wrapped around his cock and those eyes looking up at him with a sensual expression. He has to look away again and it makes Wooseok laugh. The vibrations from it sending Jinhyuk into overdrive. 

He really doesn't have it easy. As if it's not enough that this is the first blowjob of his life, he has to get it from someone like Wooseok. He really doesn't stand a chance and he feels his orgasm bubbling up real quick.

"Wooseok-ah," he tries to warn. "I'm going to come."

Wooseok doesn't move away. He doesn't even make an attempt to move away. On the contrary, his grip on Jinhyuk's hips gets stronger and he starts bopping his head up and down even faster. Jinhyuk comes in his mouth and is shocked to see Wooseok swallow.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful when you come," Wooseok says once he's detached from the other's member and Jinhyuk wants to protest, wants to ask him what he's talking about but his head has not regained enough blood to form words yet, so he settles for furrowing his eyebrows.

His breathing is just about to calm down when he sees Wooseok get up, take his shirt and boxers off and go to his wardrobe to look for something. He wants to ask him what he's doing but before he even can, Wooseok is walking back to him naked, perfect with a bottle of lube in his hand.

"Why do you have this?" Jinhyuk is excited but he still wonders.

"You were not the only one who felt tortured all week long. If you only knew half the things I imagined doing to you in my head, you'd probably run away right now."

Should he be worried? Should he run? He decides to ask instead. "What kind of things?" His voice comes out more squeaky than intended but who can blame him when he has a whole naked Wooseok crawling back into bed with him. 

"I'd much rather show you, if you allow," Wooseok says placing another languid kiss to Jinhyuk's lips, sucking on his lower lip which Jinhyuk figured out he really enjoys doing. Then the shorter male sits back, spreads Jinhyuk's legs open and just stares.

Jinhyuk has never felt so exposed in his life. He almost wants to put his hands over his cock and close his legs again but he's also intrigued and he won't let go off his chance to be messed up by Wooseok some more. His cock twitches in anticipation about to get hard again and it makes Wooseok chuckle. Even now he puts up a hand to cover his face and Jinhyuk's heart flutters at the sight.

Then without any warning, Wooseok pulls him down a little, puts a pillow underneath his lower back and traces a thin finger across Jinhyuk's rim. It's a weird feeling, but a feeling he definitely wants to explore more and Wooseok is not one to disappoint him. He leathers up his fingers with the lube and starts spreading him open.

Jinhyuk wonders how Wooseok is so good at this if it's his first time with a guy, but then again, Wooseok has always been good at everything he does, so he kind of settles for accepting his faith and being grateful. 

At first, it's a very strange sensation but the longer he does it, the more Jinhyuk gets used to the feeling of Wooseok's fingers in his hole. Then all of a sudden he thinks he's about to black out because Wooseok hits a nerve and it sends spurts of electricity through Jinhyuk's body. So much so that he lets out a loud scream. He's endlessly grateful that nobody's home.

"Fuck, Jinhyuk, I want to be inside you so badly," he can hear Wooseok's voice but the lust is clouding his sight to the point where he cannot clearly see him. 

"Do- do it," he's astounded that he even manages to answer. "Please."

Wooseok doesn't let him beg twice. He leans down to place the most gentle kiss to Jinhyuk's lips almost as to enhance the contrast to what he's about to do to him. Then suddenly, Jinhyuk feels like he's being torn apart in the best way possible. 

Wooseok moves in slowly. Very slowly, making sure Jinhyuk can adjust. He starts kissing Jinhyuk again, softly, passionately, trying to get his mind off of the slight pain he feels in his abdominal region.

It works. Jinhyuk gets used to it and now he wants more. "Please- ah- Wooseok... move- please."

Wooseok doesn't say anything but he follows the instructions like the perfect lover he is. By the way he moans and breathes, Jinhyuk can tell that he is just as bothered as himself and he feels a bit bad that he was taking so long to get adjusted to Wooseok's dick in him. Just for a second, though, because the pleasure takes over and as Wooseok starts to move in and out of him in at a faster pace, Jinhyuk cannot form any thoughts anymore.

He lets himself be reduced to a sweaty, moaning pile of lust. Peaking up at Wooseok who looks just as messed up as him every now and again and before he knows it, he's coming again. All over his own stomach and Wooseok's too. 

He feels so good, so incredibly good but Wooseok is trying to say something. "Can I- can I- come... inside?"

Jinhyuk nods with a smile. He finds it incredibly endearing that Wooseok actually asks. He feels respected and taken care of and a little in love when he sees the other come with his beautiful pink lips apart and a soft groan escaping them. 

They lie together afterwards, Jinhyuk's head resting on Wooseok's chest, his hand playing with the other's smaller hand. Both coming down from their sex induced highs. Jinhyuk suddenly giggles. 

"What's funny?" Wooseok asks with so much fondness in his voice that Jinhyuk wants to swoon.

"It's just," Jinhyuk starts with a big smile. "Just a year ago or less, I would've never thought that you'd take so many of my firsts."

Wooseok laughs softly then kisses the top of his head. "Well, there's a lot of things I'm doing with you for the first time as well."

Jinhyuk peaks up at him at that. "Aha? Things like what?"

Wooseok takes the hand Jinhyuk has been using to play with and puts it on his chest then puts his own hand on top of it. "Things like," there is a shy smile on Wooseok's face when he looks into his eyes. "Falling in love."

Jinhyuk's heart is about to burst out of his chest. He didn't expect this. He's not sure he believes it but he wants to. He also wants to tell Wooseok that he feels the same way but instead, he rolls on top of him and kisses him again with more passion than he thinks he ever had.

Wooseok giggles underneath him. Giggles that turn into moans when Jinhyuk moves his kisses away from his lips and down his neck. He kisses down Wooseok's left arm, then turns him around stroking his legs. He softly bites into one of Wooseok's surprisingly plump butt cheeks which makes the other moan even louder then he kisses his way up Wooseok's beautiful, pale back until he's up at the backside of his neck.

Jinhyuk turns him around again just to realise that he has painted the most beautiful blush on Wooseok's face and he thinks he wants to worship his body even more now that he got a reaction like that. 

He does everything to Wooseok that the other did to him just half an hour ago and he wants to do it again and again. 

They're about to go on stage for the last final line-up ranking ceremony. Jinhyuk next to him looks nervous but Wooseok is calm. He takes his hand and squeezes. He wants to do more. So much more but of course, he can't. 

He looks up at Jinhyuk who smiles at him, a wary smile. Probably filled with more complex emotions than Wooseok has time to try and figure out right then.

But he knows that everything is going to be fine. Whatever happens, they will make it work.

Before coming to Produce, he had a thousand fears about the outcome of his participation in the show but none of it matters now. The only fear left is that one of them makes it and the other doesn't. Even then, he knows, they will make it work.

He has to let go of Jinhyuk's hand as they walk up on stage. The first time they can't stand next to each other with their hands intertwined. They take their places at each side of Yohan's and exchange one last fond look. And it starts.

**Author's Note:**

> this was not meant to be chaptered but for some reason, I find it so hard to write even though the plot keeps playing in my head all the time.
> 
> the second part is coming later this week, maybe tomorrow even - definitely before the final, though.
> 
> let me know if you like it, especially with this one, I can use some feedback.
> 
> thank you for reading! <33
> 
> cc: https://curiouscat.me/wfwonhui


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